Feeling blue

Do you ever have one of those days? You know the kind. The kind where you wake up too early when you could be sleeping in. The kind where your baby poops all over her crib instead of in the diaper she took off at some point in the night? The kind of day that starts off with poop and seems destined to end that way too? The kind of day where you have that yucky pit in your stomach feeling and for a second you can't remember why it's there and then you do and it comes back fresh and new all over again? The kind where you feel a bit helpless to do anything to make it right? The kind where you would rather curl up in bed and try out that long winters nap than deal with real life? That is the kind of day I had today.
It sounds dramatic, it wouldn't have appeared that way. Aside from the poop (which was dramatic) the rest of the day seemed to be normal fare for a Saturday. We hit Costco, Owen had a birthday party that caused major anxiety, we bought groceries, Jeff and I even went out with friends for dinner and a seriously funny movie. But still the pit, always there, lurking. At least for the last week it has been. And it makes me just a little blue. My brother is leaving the church. Lots of brothers leave the church. And their siblings go on with life and the pit goes away eventually. But he is my only brother. And I love him. And eventually has not come yet and I am still wiping away the tears that seem to come all too easily of late. Feeling blue...