All Mine...

So there we were, in line for one of the dozen rides we went on that day, just Jeffrey and I. It was nice, just the two of us. The family in front of us was a mom and dad with their two twenty-something boys and their girlfriends. They were talking about what the boys had been like as children, the girlfriends laughed and held on tighter to the boys hands. I stood there holding Jeffrey's hand. That small little hand in mine, so familiar. And I flashed forward 15 years. My two boys, twenty-somethings, holding a hand that is not mine, laughing at their childhood antics.

It felt wierd. I cannot imagine letting them go. Is that selfish? Yes. But normal, I think. I remember when my cousin Stephanie and I graduated from high school my mom was so sad. I couldn't understand it, why would she be sad? Relieved, yes. Excited for the future, sure. But those were my feelings, not hers. I asked her and she said that after this it would never be the same again. She was right. We both left for different colleges, came home for holidays and summers, and then Stephanie got married and I went on a mission. We were suddenly all grown up. And life never was the same again. And that is a little sad for a mom, letting her children go and knowing that they will never really come home again.

So, I held on to my Jeffrey's hand just a little tighter. I felt glad that he is only 7 and that I still have a few more years to enjoy him, to love him being mine. I held his hand all the way through the ride and he never pulled away. As we were walking back to find Jeff and the kids Jeffrey looked up at me and told me that he loved me. He tells me this all the time, but somehow I knew I would remember this time. That somewhere down the road we would pass this way again and I would suddenly remember my little boy, just as he is right now. His small hand in mine, telling me he loves me. It will be a sweet memory to relive. And for now I will enjoy living it with two sweet boys that are still all mine.