Growing up

 My two boys are growing up. The last day of school always seems to bring that fact home to me. Jeffrey will be in 5th grade next year and Owen in 2nd. It makes me a little sad and little proud and a little nostalgic all at once. Sad that these two boys of mine are getting so big, so independent. That they are gone all day doing things that I am not a part of, living part of their lives so seperate from me. It is a selfish thing, I know this. But it is also a mother thing. When they were young I was so much a part of their everyday. I knew their conversations and their moods and their friends and their thoughts. And now I only know part of that. And that is part of growing up, for them to venture out on their own, become independent, cut the strings little by little. But that is hard for a momma. Hard in a good way, but still hard. I miss that closeness, the everyday every minute kind. But there is another kind of closeness that is growing too. The best friend kind. The kind of where you share every inside joke and laugh at the same things and know what they are saying without any words kind of closeness. There is that kind growing. And that is nice too. It makes me look at those boys of mine in a different way. It helps me see all the reasons I should be proud, all the awesome things that they do and that they are. So it's good, really. But if I could I would slow it down a little. Force myself to enjoy them right now. To freeze time for just a moment while these two are still 10 and 7. Memorize every little freckle, every wonky tooth and skinned knee. Just for a little longer.