My two babies

Jeffrey and Brooks, my two babies. 

On Sunday one will be baptized and the other will be blessed.

Kind of a surreal moment for a momma.

One so new, one getting so old.

To see my first growing up, old enough to be baptized.

It's such a mix of emotions.

It makes me a little sad that he is not my little boy anymore,
that he is big in so many ways.

I miss the baby he was, the way we were together.

When it was just the two of us and our days were spent consumed with each other.

He was such a delight. He still is.

And that makes me proud.

Proud that we have made it this far, that he has grown into the boy he is.

That he is good and kind and that his eyes still sparkle when he smiles.

I love every inch of him.

And then there is Brooks.

Never has there been a better baby in all the world.

No, really. He is utter perfection.

I have enjoyed every second of him in a way that I didn't when Jeffrey was a babe.

With my first I was nervous and sleepless and every sound sent me into a panic.

He cried and cried and I cried and cried.

And then we both fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

Those first three months were a blur.

Brooks is two months old today.

Life is much more chill than it was 8 years ago.

Part of it is the baby.

Most of it is me.

I have a little experience under my belt.

Every little sound does not send me into a panic the way it once did.

I have learned to relax a little, to worry less and enjoy more.

And I have perspective.

Perspective that tells me how fast the time passes.

That in a moment my baby will be 8 years old.

So I will hold him a little more.

I will not care if the laundry sits on my couch for a week

and we eat chicken nuggets for dinner (again).

I will relax and enjoy my baby right now.

And on Sunday I will cry.

I will cry as I watch my baby in his white jumpsuit.

I will cry as I see my husband hold his hand.

I will cry as he stands in front of all the people we love,
singing a song I love.

I will cry.

And I will squeeze my Brooks just a little tighter in my arms.

And then I will hand him to my husband.

He will bless our babe with all the beautiful things in life

just as he did for his brother 8 years ago.

I will cry.

And that is ok.

 I will cry because I love them.

Because I am so proud to be their momma.

They will be good tears.