Loving my girl.

It is precisely 12:24 a.m. and I should be sleeping because I have to get up in the morning and get the boys off to school. It is true. Summer is over and I must drag myself out of bed and make lunches and sign planners and hurry two boys out the door. Next week those two boys will be joined by their little sister. Have I told you how the thought of this makes my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach. Well, it does. Drop, I tell you. I feel this way every time. I cried with Jeffrey, big, fat tears rolling down my cheeks as he walked away from me. He didn't even look back. I though it would be easier with Owen. Three years of pre-school was too much. He was ready. And I still cried. Smaller tears this time, more self control. But still, there were tears. And he looked back and gave me a little half wave. And my heart dropped a little further. But thinking of Paige. Seriously. I have already cried big tears and little tears over this first day. And it is not even here yet. I just love this little girl of mine. I love that she is little. That she still wants piggies in her hair. I love how she does cartwheels everywhere and how she cuddles me every morning. There is just so much to love. Maybe it's because she is my only girl. And I am still the center of her world right now. And we are so close, the way only mommies and daughters can be. Whatever it is, Tuesday is looming. And summer is over. And I need a tissue.