You is kind, You is smart, You is important

I had to give a talk in church last week. I love preparing talks because I learn all kinds of things about myself. Things that make my life better. And I remember things that helped me to learn those lessons. And that is such fun. To look back and remember. So here it is, for my momma who remembers it all too.

“You is kind, You is smart, You is important.”

Kathryn Stockett’s novel, “The Help,” focuses on the lives of three women during the tumultuous Civil Rights movement. One of those women, Aibileen, is a maid for a young white family with two children. Miss Leefolt is too distracted with her social obligations to care for her children and is often neglectful and mean to 4 year old Mae Mobley. Aibileen becomes a surrogate mother to the little girl and makes it her mission to help the girl feel loved and important. She reminds her every day of who she is. As circumstances arise and Aibileen is fired one of the most touching parts of the novel occurs as she says goodbye to Mae Mobley. Aibileen says, “Baby girl, I need you to remember everything I told you. Do you remember what I told you? About what you are? I look deep into her rich brown eyes and she look into mine. Law, she got old-soul eyes, like she done lived a thousand years. And I swear I see, down inside, the woman she gone grow up to be. A flash from the future. She is tall and straight. She is proud…And she is remembering the words I put in her head. Remembering as a full-grown woman. And then she say it, just like I need her to. You is kind, she say, you is smart. You is important.”

You is Kind

You is kind. You is smart. You is important. Those are good lessons. The kind of lessons I imagine our Heavenly Father tried to instill in us before we came to earth. Elder Bednar said, “The overarching purpose of Heavenly Father’s great plan of happiness is to provide His spirit children with opportunities to learn. One of the first things we need to learn is who we are. A loving Heavenly Father puts people and experiences in our lives to help us learn who we are when we are likely to forget on our own.

When I was in third grade I had a teacher I adored. Her name was Ms. Avina and she was tall and graceful and lovely. I had two best friends that year, Kate and Sheree. We ate lunch together, played tether ball at recess together, played with our cabbage patch kids after school together. Whatever we did, we did it together. Until one day, when I came to school and Kate and Sheree wouldn’t talk to me anymore. They would not sit with me at lunch. They would not play with me at recess or after school. I had no idea what I had done. And my little 8 year old heart was broken. Ms. Avina saw my broken heart. And she invited me to sit with her during lunch and recess in our classroom. I am sure she had other things to do, work that could have been done while she spent time with me. But instead we talked and I cried and she comforted that broken heart of mine. For two weeks my friends did not speak to me. And for two weeks my angel teacher let me sit with her. I do not remember our conversations. But I do remember how she made me feel. She taught me what it was to be kind.

Our Heavenly Father sent us here to learn who we are. We may learn kindness from a third grade teacher. Or love from a mother or father. Or humility from a mission companion. Or compassion from a child. But there is always more to be learned. He wants us to uncover that latent knowledge inside each of us of our divine birthright. To recognize our potential as his sons and daughters. We sing the words of our primary song, “I am a child of God.” Those words are true. That is who we are.

President Gordon B. Hinckley said,

Over fifty years ago while serving in England as a missionary, I went to the London Central YMCA. I suppose that old building has long since gone, but I can never forget the words that faced visitors in the foyer each time they entered. They were the words of Solomon: “With all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7).
Understanding of what? Understanding of ourselves, of the purposes of life, of our relationship to God who is our Father, of the great divinely given principles that for centuries have provided the sinew of man’s real progress! He wants us to understand who we are.

You is Smart

Heavenly Father sent us here to gain the understanding that we need in order to return to him and eventually become like him. In order to be like him we need to gain knowledge through both spiritual and secular education. A good education is essential because education opens doors that otherwise would remain closed. President Hinckley said, “Education is the key to opportunity.” All of us have natural abilities and amazing potential within us, and education helps bring out and refine those capacities that will allow us to become our best self. Education is one of the “small and simple things,” that makes a huge difference in what we will be able to do in our lives. President Hinckley compared education to a switch point on a railroad.

He said,” Many years ago I worked for a railroad. I was in charge of what is called head-end traffic. One morning I received a call from my counterpart in Newark, New Jersey. He said, “Train number such-and-such has arrived, but it has no baggage car. Somewhere, 300 passengers have lost their baggage, and they are mad.”
 
I went immediately to work to find out where it may have gone. I found it had been properly loaded and properly trained in Oakland, California. It had been moved to St. Louis. But some thoughtless switchman in the St. Louis yards moved a small piece of steel just three inches, a switch point, then pulled the lever to uncouple the car. We discovered that a baggage car that belonged in Newark, New Jersey, was in fact in New Orleans, Louisiana—1,500 miles from its destination. Just the three-inch movement of the switch in the St. Louis yard by a careless employee had started it on the wrong track, and the distance from its true destination increased dramatically. That is the way it is with our lives. At the switch point between tracks, the distance is small-just a few inches. But over time, the tracks lead to dramatically different places. Education is one of the switch points of life. It helps us to unlock our potential and become our best selves.

When I was a senior in college I came to such a switch point in my life. I was newly married, to a younger man, who still had two years left until graduation. After some contemplation, graduate school seemed like the best option for my future and I began to prepare and apply to graduate programs. I was accepted to BYU. At the time I was taking a literature class from a professor who did not seem to share my enthusiasm over my acceptance. And after writing an apparently dismal paper, this professor wrote me a letter. It was not a kind letter. He told me that he did not think I was prepared for the rigors of grad school. That I was not disciplined enough. That I would not fit into that competitive environment. I was discouraged, to say the least. All the insecurities of my youth began to haunt me. I thought he might be right. I doubted my abilities.

And then I got mad. I loved to learn. I loved to read. I loved to write. And I became determined to succeed in grad school, just to spite this teacher. It was a difficult road I had ahead of me. I would have two babies, teach two classes a semester, all while taking a full load of classes and writing my thesis. This was a demanding, exhausting, exhilarating time in my life. A time where I discovered that I was talented and smart and capable. The day that I graduated was one of the best days of my life. I remember that feeling. The rewards of that education have carried with me since then. One of the most fulfilling aspects of my life is that of being a teacher. That opportunity came directly from the education I received as a graduate student. The one my teacher didn’t believe I was qualified for. He was wrong.

 You is Important

Sister Mary N. Cook, 1^st counselor in YW presidency told this story. “When I was a young woman, I borrowed skis that were way too long and boots that were way too big, and a friend taught me to ski! We went on a beautiful spring day filled with bright sun, perfect snow, and cloudless, blue skies. Anxiety about the steep slopes gave way to delight as I learned. And though I tumbled quite a few times on those long skis, I got up and I kept trying. I came to love the sport!

I soon found out, however, that not all ski days and weather conditions were that ideal. On days with overcast skies, we skied in a condition called “flat light.” Flat light occurs when the light from the sun is diffused by the clouds. Looking ahead at the white snow, you find that your depth perception vanishes, and it is difficult to judge the steepness of the slope or see the moguls and bumps on the hill.

Some of you may be looking forward to your future as I looked at that steep ski slope. You may feel at times that you are living in flat light, unable to see what lies ahead of you. Learning by faith will give you confidence and will help you navigate your way through times of uncertainty.”

In the 25th chapter of Matthew, the parable of the ten virgins teaches us that spiritual preparation is vital and must be achieved individually. You will recall that all ten virgins were invited to escort the bridegroom into the wedding feast, but only the five wise virgins were prepared with oil in their lamps.

“And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.

“But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

“And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.”13

You may think it selfish that the five wise virgins did not share their oil, but it was impossible. Preparation must be acquired individually, as we learn drop by drop who we are and what we are capable of becoming. In my patriarchal blessing it says. “Realize who you are. You are a daughter of God the Father.” I received this blessing when I was a 15 year old girl and that line has guided me throughout my life. I know who I am. I am a daughter of God. Sometimes I forget and I need someone to remind me of this. I still can see my third grade teacher and her kind eyes. I remember the way I felt as I received my diploma on graduation day. We are each an important part of Heavenly Father’s plan. He has a work for us to do. As we seek to learn, we uncover our talents, we broaden our abilities, we become more capable of serving in the lords kingdom. We remember who we are.

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.