Life is unpredictable

Life is unpredictable. Two weeks ago I woke up to the sound of my two little boys giggling out in the living room. Nothing out of the ordinary. After a few minutes I went out to investigate and found them snuggled into bed with their Grandpa. He had one in the crook of each arm and I listened as he told them the story of the 3 little pigs. It's their favorite. This time they each took turns adding to the story and they were full of giggles over their silliness. Just two weeks ago. Today their Grandpa is laying in a hospital bed in California. On Monday night he fell in the shower and his heart stopped. Jane found him and the paramedics came and he is now in the hospital full of tubes and needles and tape and hushed voices. There are no little boys in the crook of his arm, there are no giggles and no silliness. There is just sadness.

Jeff flew out yesterday afternoon. He sits by his dad's bedside and holds his hand and wipes the blood from his mouth and watches. He and his brother and sister sit and watch and talk and think and cry and then watch some more. It is all heartbreaking. I know that there is more to it than the sadness, there is faith and hope. And that will make me feel better later. But right now I am just feeling sad. Feeling sad for those two little boys who love their Grandpa. Feeling sad for my husband who loves his dad. So. Much. Feeling sad for Jane and all the hurt she has to go through. Again. Feeling sad for my father in law and all the pain he has to endure. Again. Hoping he knows he is loved. Feeling sad that life is so unpredictable in so many ways. Wishing I could take all that hurt away from all these people I love. Boo.