Rotten

Here I am sitting in my favorite chair, eating jelly beans, channel surfing with the tv on mute, and feeling guilty. Not guilty about the jelly beans, (if only it was so....sigh) but guilty about what a rotten mom I've been today.  Aaaah mommy guilt, how I loathe you. So, here it is. Paige is such a stink lately. She is into everything and doesn't listen to a word I say and is just plain naughty. And she won't stay out of my bathroom. Ever. Today she came out with three different colors of nail polish painted on her fingers. Her fingers. Tonight she unwrapped all of my tampons. She had no idea what they were but they were pink so she automatically loved them. She does all of this while I am feeding the baby. Every time I am feeding the baby.

And then there's that stinker of a boy, Jeffrey. He refuses to make his bed. Re-Fu-Ses. It's a complete wreck every morning. Jeff or I have to make it for him every night. Tonight I said no. The baby was crying, Paige was crying, and I said no. He freaked out. My big eight year old boy cannot make his own bed. Really? I said good night and shut his door. He screamed for me to come back in and close his closet door. I yelled at him through his closed door that he could get out of his bed and do it himself. He said he couldn't and that he didn't want to be part of my family anymore. Ouch.

So I walked away and put Owen to bed. He always goes to bed so nicely. He lays down and kisses me and says goodnight. Just like that. And then as I am walking out he asks where South America is. Or Texas or California or... I point to it on the map and say goodnight as I shut the door and he lets me leave. Just like that. I love him. I love all of them. Sometimes I just don't like them as much as I should. And that is why I have been a rotten mom today.